|Biography of Grieb||
October 21, 2003
Less than 3 weeks until my wedding - gulp! This past weekend was a momentous occasion in the life of Grieb - his bachelor party! Let me start of by saying that it was awesome hanging out with many of my close friends - we don't often get a chance to hang out together in a large group like this anymore, so that made it all the more special - thank you all!
Now to the good stuff. Going into the bachelor party, I wasn't sure what was going to be in store for me, and thanks to Nick, Ray, and the rest of the "planners," I was by no means disappointed. The day started off innocent enough - I woke up, cleaned the bathrooms, ate breakfast, and then Sue and I went to the tanning salon (I'm not gay, I just need a base tan for St. Lucia - or at least that is what Sue tells me). I dropped Sue off at Lisa's place, and came home to relax for the big day.
Around 2:30ish, Anthony, Ray, and Nick came by my house, and we watched an episode of the Family Guy (BTW - if you have never seen the Family Guy, please tune into the Cartoon Network - you won't be disappointed. It is my favorite "cartoon.")
We then made our way to a local bar to hang out and watch some of the college football games. We first went to Durty Nelly's, but there was a reunion for the 1973 graduates of Ridley High School (in the afternoon??? What, are you guys crazy?). Then, we went to Tom and Jerry's, but alas, there was a 40th birthday party for this person named Narissa. We decided that we might as well go to the gold standard of bars, the Toll House. Mark met up with us there, and we had a few beers. Then, the first surprise of the day occurred - Matt Robinson, a roommate of mine from college, showed up with Brandon. Matt was supposed to be in Pittsburgh for another bachelor party, but that wedding got canceled for one reason or another.
At around 5:00, we left the Toll House to go to Ray's house for the "official" start of the bachelor party. Others began showing up - Arty, Kurt, Styk, Brian, Keith, Johnnay, and Smokin' Steve, to name a few (if I forgot anybody, I'm sorry). After another few hours of drinking and story-telling, the next surprise of the night reared its ugly head - a "love" letter that I had written to Diane, my 9th grade girlfriend was read (how the heck they got this, I'll never know). It was quite funny, but in all honesty, I don't remember writing this.
Then, yet another "surprise," was in store for me. The fellas proceeded to take me outside, and wrap my hands and wrists in casts. I've never had any casts or broken bones before, so this was a new experience to me. It would be difficult for me to drink, eat, and pee the rest of the night, so that was a "bonus." Of course, it would also prevent me from "touching" strippers, which was a benefit to Sue (of course, I would never have done that anyway, Sue!). Another added benefit for me, which none of the guys thought of, was that I could easily incapacitate my "friends" with a light but calculated swing to the nuts, which I did frequently throughout the night (you guys gotta think ahead!).
The "house" strippers arrived shortly after that, and they put on quite a show (of which nothing will be discussed in this observation). By this point, I was pretty hammered (4 or 5 shots of Jaegermeister and Jack Daniels will do that to a guy).
The limo bus arrived at around 8:30, I think (but I was drunk). We piled into the limo, and drove to our destination - Delilahs. This place is a really classy strip joint, and we had V.I.P. passes, which was really nice. We went upstairs, admired the beautiful women (not as good looking as Sue) dance and take their clothes off for us. It was tasteful, yet still enjoyable for the perverts (of which I am not). After some more beers, some more dancing, and even a nice massage, we decided it was time for the fun to come to a close, and once again loaded our fat asses onto the limo bus (Drew was the only casualty - he vomited at the strip joint, and again behind the bus).
Our night was not over yet - we decided to stop at Pat's in order to eat cheese-steaks in which to soak up some of the before-mentioned alcohol. The steaks were fantastic, and the ice fight in the bus was second-to-none. The bus dropped everyone off at their homes, and finally I was at my final destination. But before I could go to bed, I still had to take care of the casts on my hands (which were now starting to really hurt).
Kids, don't try this at home, but I decided I would saw the casts off myself (I came to this conclusion in a drunken stupor, so I most assuredly thought that I would be visiting Taylor Hospital at some point in the night). But the gods were with me this night, as it took no more than 10 minutes for me to saw those suckers off, and before I knew it, I was stumbling upstairs and into my bed.
At around 7:00 a.m., I awoke, and couldn't get back to sleep, which sucked. But, I thought back on all the fun we had, and all was well. Thanks for the memories guys, and I'll see you in a couple of weeks. BTW - if anyone is available this Saturday for anything, let me know. We won't be going to Delilah's again, but we can hang out somewhere (it's Sue's Bachelorette party).