Los's Lair
The Quote List
What started off as nothing more than a college prank has become legendary. Here is the full list of the dumbest quotes ever spoken by my friends and me. Matt Robinson has approximately 60% of them.
(This picture should show you why Golic, er, Matso has most of the quotes)
THE FUNNY QUOTES LIST
(WERE YOU DUMB ENOUGH TO MAKE IT?)
1. "Hey, we’re gonna get a fuckin’ Indian. Uh, I mean
Hurricane. " Matt 8/30/93
2. "Turn off the stove and get me a fuckin’ chimney,
man!" Karl 8/18/93
3. "You got the rug cleaner for the oven?" Matt 8/16/93
4. "Karl, do you have any matches?" "No, just light
a candle!" Brian and Karl 8/30/93
5. "Is she coming over?" "Yea, she lives in
Michigan, she’ll be right over." Dean and Karl
9/1/93
6. "Go join us!" 9/2/93 Jean Marie "Jam"
7. "Are you allowed to drink when you drink?" Matt 9/3/93
8. "The weakers are speak!" Matt 9/3/93
9. "The one by the main entrance!" Brian talking about
the crack in our apartment 9/4/93
10. "Do you know where the fire detector is?" Brian
9/4/93
11. "I’ll have a coke, large fries, and a burger on the
side." Dean 9/4/93
12. "I almost burnt my house on fire!" Karl 9/4/93
13. "I’ll beat his dick with my face!" Matt 8/24/93
14. "No references to the hole!" Penny 8/21/93
15. "If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay under the
porch!" Penny 8/21/93
16. "My problem, no pleasure. Uh, I mean my pleasure, no
problem." Karl
17. "Get the fuckin’ leprechauns outta here!" Karl
9/10/93
18. "9:00 is the equivalent to 11:00 on a weekday."
Stacey 9/11/93
19. "Wait a minute, I have to distinguish this." Dean
putting incense out 9/11/93
20. "Way to waste an education on a dyke!" Dave
21. "Let’s go to the paternity tonight!" Jim 9/13/93
22. "There’s something wrong with my fuckin’ eyes!"
Matt before realizing he had his contact lenses and glasses on.
23. "I like it weak because it’s not strong." Dean on
lemonade 9/15/9
24. "Jean, are you gonna wear deans out tonight?" Jim
9/15/93
25. "I am as sober as a priest!" Matt
26. "Rachel has been good." "What, did she pee on
the paper?" Matt and Karl 10/6/93
27. "Karl, you’re the only one that remembers the hub lawn
incident!" "Yeah, even Julie forgets
it!" Jim and Karl
28. "Where are all the plates?" "In the
blender!" Matt 10/7/93
29. "The old ball and Jane." Jim 10/7/93
30. "The unforgettable ass look!" Keith 10/8/93
31. "Davey Allison couldn’t drive that alligator, uh, I mean
helicopter." Matt 10/10/93
32. "I burped and a chunk came up in my mouth...... ewwww......
uhhhh.... that was sick!" Dean 10/13/93
33. "Oh no, I want to know the traffic patterns!" Matt
10/15/93
34. "You see, when I ran out of food, I wouldn’t have a way
back to the laundry room!" Matt 10/15/93
35. "I would eat things like food bird, uh, I mean Bird’s
eye." Matt 10/15/93
36. "Get a senegrated thermometer, uh, I mean court
stenographer." Matt 10/15/93
37. "Where’s the remote?" "It’s on the lid of
that building with those shoes!" Matt 10/29/93
38. "That bitch was all over Roget!" Matt
39. "I was so drunk, I had to hold on to the grass to keep
from falling off of the earth!" George Felderholf, the barber 11/3/93
40. "I was standing pin perfect!" Matt 11/4/93
41. "Can we see it better?" Penny looking for John’s
dick
42. "Smith, are you gonna be allright? Maybe you should go to
the ambulance place." Jim11/29/93
43. "Yeah, some got it, and some don’t!" "Like
hair, Dean?" Dean and Matt 12/2/93
44. "Hey Dean. What time is your 9:00 class?" Matt
12/3/93
45. "Do I have any ears in my hair?" Matt 12/3/93
46. "You know you can take these Acme cups back and get a free
refill for 25 cents!" Dean 12/11/93
47. "Here’s some money. Give Bean this money to get
deer." Matt 12/31/93
48. "Wherever you go, I’ll be two steps behind you."
"That means your stomach will be touching
my back." Matt and Karl 1/26/94
49. "Hey, where’s the tone, uh, I mean phone book?"
Matt 1/26/94
50. "It costs a lot of money to shave those plaid cows, uh, I
mean sheep!" Jim 1/26/94
51. "I knocked him off his feet and he had both his feet
on." Karl 1/26/94
52. "How about nutrient enriched beer? That’s a pretty good
idea, huh?" Brandon 1/29/94
53. "I got an alumni lewsnetter." Jim 1/29/94
54. "Get your ten cent ass outta here before I make
"5.00!" Matt
55. "I’ll stop on a dime and make $5.00!" Brian
56. "Nancy liked you, but you beat her to me." Jim
1/27/94
57. "I almost took that guy at the neck by
the skellar." Matt 1/27/95
58. "Son of a bitch, I’ll take your mouth!" Matt
1/27/94
59. "The net is out." Matt 1/27/94 (When Jim spits out
the window)
60. "Get off the easter-code! Uh, I mean speakerphone."
Matt 2/17/94
61. "Yeah, I feel like I’m on the Jeopardy! What is the
ovule??" Dean 1/29/94
62. "Brian Futter please." Matt 1/29/94
63. "Should I spread rose fetters at your feat?" Jim
1/31/94
64. "The beer ain’t mouse." Matt 2/17/94
65. "Turn on the Jupersees." Matt 2/17/94
66. "No, I meant the Super-G’s, the golfing." Matt
2/17/94
67. "I’m gonna shoot fool." Matt 2/17/94
68. "Nancy throws Giraffes." Matt 2./17/94
69. "Get up dude! The floor is ass." Matt 2/17/94
70. "Let me take my mouth off." Matt 2/17/94
71. "I’ll just drink friends with my beer." Karl
2/17/94
72. "So’s I walk in the fridge and open up the door."
Matt 2/18/94
73. "Hello, is this Tina?.... Oh, Kristin, can I have him call
you back?" Karl 2/2/94
74. "He’s that guy with the bald hair." Matt 2/2/94
75. "Picken-chigs." Karl 2/3/94
76. "My Russian professor from my math class has the same
boots I have." Dean 2/3/94
77. "Karl will take the ice down the stairs!" Karl 2/3/94
78. "Oh, TCI!" Brian
79. "Nude as a fuckin’ whale!" Matt 2/4/94
80. "I could crawl and fack my head open!" Cindy 2/4/94
81. "It’s not that bad as soon as you pick up the
noise." Matt 2/5/94
82. "How did the wall get fendered?" Matt 2/5/94
83. "Man, it’s cold in here, but it’s not that bad when
Matt stands in front of the window." Cindy
2/5/94
84. "She rides the fuckin’ silicon bus!" Matt 2/5/94
85. "Blazing Soodles!" Matt 2/5/94
86. "No Dean, you’re the president of the pattern balding
division!" Matt 2/5/94
87. "He’s lighting his house on his mouth!" Matt 2/6/94
88. "Straight outta the pope’s.... uh..... bedroom."
Jim 2/10/94
89. "All right, who put my fuckin’ bonuts on the
balcony?" Matt 2/10/94
90. "Open a hundred fuckin’ bridges, uh, I mean
slopes." Matt 2/11/94
91. " Nobody likes Jim, except the assholes." Matt
2/12/94
92. "Jim, you’re a fuckin’ firehouse!" Karl 2/12/94
93. "They are giving away freeway cups!" Karl 2/12/94
94. "Do you guys want to go to the movies?" "No, I
don’t want to be a seventh finger!" Brian
and Matt 2/12/94
95. "He’s got to be fucked up, we both ate a drink
pack." Matt 2/13/94
96. "Is this the key for the sugar? I mean computer lab?"
Matt 2/15/94
97. "Breakfast is the most important lunch of the day."
Karl 3/18/94
98. "That’s a, uh, placemat, ashtray, uh, napkin." Matt
3/18/94
99. "You hit the head right on the nail!" Jim 3/17/94