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Number 2


The Quote List

What started off as nothing more than a college prank has become legendary.  Here is the full list of the dumbest quotes ever spoken by my friends and me.  Matt Robinson has approximately 60% of them.

matso.jpg (14986 bytes)

(This picture should show you why Golic, er, Matso has most of the quotes)

                      THE FUNNY QUOTES LIST

                                 (WERE YOU DUMB ENOUGH TO MAKE IT?)

     1. "Hey, weíre gonna get a fuckiní Indian. Uh, I mean Hurricane. " Matt 8/30/93

     2. "Turn off the stove and get me a fuckiní chimney, man!" Karl 8/18/93

     3. "You got the rug cleaner for the oven?" Matt 8/16/93

     4. "Karl, do you have any matches?" "No, just light a candle!" Brian and Karl 8/30/93

     5. "Is she coming over?" "Yea, she lives in Michigan, sheíll be right over." Dean and Karl 9/1/93

     6. "Go join us!" 9/2/93 Jean Marie "Jam"

     7. "Are you allowed to drink when you drink?" Matt 9/3/93

     8. "The weakers are speak!" Matt 9/3/93

     9. "The one by the main entrance!" Brian talking about the crack in our apartment 9/4/93

     10. "Do you know where the fire detector is?" Brian 9/4/93

     11. "Iíll have a coke, large fries, and a burger on the side." Dean 9/4/93

     12. "I almost burnt my house on fire!" Karl 9/4/93

     13. "Iíll beat his dick with my face!" Matt 8/24/93

     14. "No references to the hole!" Penny 8/21/93

     15. "If you canít run with the big dogs, stay under the porch!" Penny 8/21/93

     16. "My problem, no pleasure. Uh, I mean my pleasure, no problem." Karl

     17. "Get the fuckiní leprechauns outta here!" Karl 9/10/93

     18. "9:00 is the equivalent to 11:00 on a weekday." Stacey 9/11/93

     19. "Wait a minute, I have to distinguish this." Dean putting incense out 9/11/93

     20. "Way to waste an education on a dyke!" Dave

     21. "Letís go to the paternity tonight!" Jim 9/13/93

     22. "Thereís something wrong with my fuckiní eyes!" Matt before realizing he had his contact lenses and glasses on.

     23. "I like it weak because itís not strong." Dean on lemonade 9/15/9

     24. "Jean, are you gonna wear deans out tonight?" Jim 9/15/93

     25. "I am as sober as a priest!" Matt

     26. "Rachel has been good." "What, did she pee on the paper?" Matt and Karl 10/6/93

     27. "Karl, youíre the only one that remembers the hub lawn incident!" "Yeah, even Julie forgets it!" Jim and Karl

     28. "Where are all the plates?" "In the blender!" Matt 10/7/93

     29. "The old ball and Jane." Jim 10/7/93

     30. "The unforgettable ass look!" Keith 10/8/93

     31. "Davey Allison couldnít drive that alligator, uh, I mean helicopter." Matt 10/10/93

     32. "I burped and a chunk came up in my mouth...... ewwww...... uhhhh.... that was sick!" Dean 10/13/93

     33. "Oh no, I want to know the traffic patterns!" Matt 10/15/93

     34. "You see, when I ran out of food, I wouldnít have a way back to the laundry room!" Matt 10/15/93

     35. "I would eat things like food bird, uh, I mean Birdís eye." Matt 10/15/93

     36. "Get a senegrated thermometer, uh, I mean court stenographer." Matt 10/15/93

     37. "Whereís the remote?" "Itís on the lid of that building with those shoes!" Matt 10/29/93

     38. "That bitch was all over Roget!" Matt

     39. "I was so drunk, I had to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off of the earth!" George Felderholf, the barber 11/3/93

     40. "I was standing pin perfect!" Matt 11/4/93

     41. "Can we see it better?" Penny looking for Johnís dick

     42. "Smith, are you gonna be allright? Maybe you should go to the ambulance place." Jim11/29/93

     43. "Yeah, some got it, and some donít!" "Like hair, Dean?" Dean and Matt 12/2/93

     44. "Hey Dean. What time is your 9:00 class?" Matt 12/3/93

     45. "Do I have any ears in my hair?" Matt 12/3/93

     46. "You know you can take these Acme cups back and get a free refill for 25 cents!" Dean 12/11/93

     47. "Hereís some money. Give Bean this money to get deer." Matt 12/31/93

     48. "Wherever you go, Iíll be two steps behind you." "That means your stomach will be touching my back." Matt and Karl 1/26/94

     49. "Hey, whereís the tone, uh, I mean phone book?" Matt 1/26/94

     50. "It costs a lot of money to shave those plaid cows, uh, I mean sheep!" Jim 1/26/94

     51. "I knocked him off his feet and he had both his feet on." Karl 1/26/94

     52. "How about nutrient enriched beer? Thatís a pretty good idea, huh?" Brandon 1/29/94

     53. "I got an alumni lewsnetter." Jim 1/29/94

     54. "Get your ten cent ass outta here before I make "5.00!" Matt

     55. "Iíll stop on a dime and make $5.00!" Brian

     56. "Nancy liked you, but you beat her to me." Jim 1/27/94

     57. "I almost took that guy at the neck by the skellar." Matt 1/27/95

     58. "Son of a bitch, Iíll take your mouth!" Matt 1/27/94

     59. "The net is out." Matt 1/27/94 (When Jim spits out the window)

     60. "Get off the easter-code! Uh, I mean speakerphone." Matt 2/17/94

     61. "Yeah, I feel like Iím on the Jeopardy! What is the ovule??" Dean 1/29/94

     62. "Brian Futter please." Matt 1/29/94

     63. "Should I spread rose fetters at your feat?" Jim 1/31/94

     64. "The beer ainít mouse." Matt 2/17/94

     65. "Turn on the Jupersees." Matt 2/17/94

     66. "No, I meant the Super-Gís, the golfing." Matt 2/17/94

     67. "Iím gonna shoot fool." Matt 2/17/94

     68. "Nancy throws Giraffes." Matt 2./17/94

     69. "Get up dude! The floor is ass." Matt 2/17/94

     70. "Let me take my mouth off." Matt 2/17/94

     71. "Iíll just drink friends with my beer." Karl 2/17/94

     72. "Soís I walk in the fridge and open up the door." Matt 2/18/94

     73. "Hello, is this Tina?.... Oh, Kristin, can I have him call you back?" Karl 2/2/94

     74. "Heís that guy with the bald hair." Matt 2/2/94

     75. "Picken-chigs." Karl 2/3/94

     76. "My Russian professor from my math class has the same boots I have." Dean 2/3/94 

     77. "Karl will take the ice down the stairs!" Karl 2/3/94

     78. "Oh, TCI!" Brian

     79. "Nude as a fuckiní whale!" Matt 2/4/94

     80. "I could crawl and fack my head open!" Cindy 2/4/94

     81. "Itís not that bad as soon as you pick up the noise." Matt 2/5/94

     82. "How did the wall get fendered?" Matt 2/5/94

     83. "Man, itís cold in here, but itís not that bad when Matt stands in front of the window." Cindy 2/5/94

     84. "She rides the fuckiní silicon bus!" Matt 2/5/94

     85. "Blazing Soodles!" Matt 2/5/94

     86. "No Dean, youíre the president of the pattern balding division!" Matt 2/5/94

     87. "Heís lighting his house on his mouth!" Matt 2/6/94 

     88. "Straight outta the popeís.... uh..... bedroom." Jim 2/10/94

     89. "All right, who put my fuckiní bonuts on the balcony?" Matt 2/10/94

     90. "Open a hundred fuckiní bridges, uh, I mean slopes." Matt 2/11/94

     91. " Nobody likes Jim, except the assholes." Matt 2/12/94

     92. "Jim, youíre a fuckiní firehouse!" Karl 2/12/94

     93. "They are giving away freeway cups!" Karl 2/12/94

     94. "Do you guys want to go to the movies?" "No, I donít want to be a seventh finger!" Brian and Matt 2/12/94

     95. "Heís got to be fucked up, we both ate a drink pack." Matt 2/13/94

     96. "Is this the key for the sugar? I mean computer lab?" Matt 2/15/94

     97. "Breakfast is the most important lunch of the day." Karl 3/18/94

     98. "Thatís a, uh, placemat, ashtray, uh, napkin." Matt 3/18/94

     99. "You hit the head right on the nail!" Jim 3/17/94  


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