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Number 2


The History of Kaelineze

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Many moons ago, a tribe of Swiss Nomads, called the Kaelins, made their way to the state of Kentucky.  White Castle Hamburgers led them to their destination.  As time passed, a small group of Kaelins left Kentucky on their way to Glenolden, PA.  Armed with only Louisville Sluggers and a pile of newspapers, the Kaelins journeyed to the land of Cocco's Pizza, Delaware County.

A child was born unto this Kaelin family.  His nickname was Yon, and he would become known as "The Collector of Useless Trinkets."  His room was full of bobbing head baseball players, empty coke cans with Bruce Jenner's picture on them, and tons and tons of baseball cards.  Yon was even rumored to have collected tickets stubs from baseball games and concerts he attended.

The Kaelins decided to send little Yon off to school.  Little Yon, although not understood by any of his friends, tried and tried to learn the English language.  What ended up happening was a hybrid, called Kaelineze.  Although no official book of Kaelineze translations exists, this is the first site that actually offers a few basic translations.  If anybody else has any other translations that can be added, please pass them along:

1.  "I'm talkin' to willy about Tom Miller."   Translation - I'm starting to worry about tomorrow.

2.  "What a gwab!"  Translation - What a grab!

3.  "Awwight Wowen!"  All right, Rolen!

4.  "Wet's go to da Homo Car Show!"  Translation - Let's go to the Hallmark Card Shop!

5.  "Zis is youw wife!"  Translation - This is your life!

6.  "Ich Mike!"  Translation - ?!??!!!??!?

7.  "I want Orange Juice with the pope!"  translation - I want orange juice with the pulp.

8. "I weally sink dat Nelly Fertadi is cute."

9. "We used to go to the 7-11 and get Big Glups ..."


(If you want to see the adventures of Intern Yon, go to this website, it's hilarious:  http://sites.netscape.net/st3steviec).