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Number 2


Different Terms for

“Doing Number 2” 

woodgrieb.jpg (39570 bytes)

This is how I feel after taking a shit.

BTW - check out this website - it's worthy of Number 2!  - http://www.shitbegone.com/

If you have others, let me know!

Brandon and I came up with a lot of these!  What can I say?  We have a lot of time on our.......nevermind!

  1. “I have to dump-up.”
  1. “I’m going to make spin art in the toilet.”
  1. “I beat the toilet today, 3-0.”
  1. “I made the toilet cry.”
  1. “I bombed the toilet like Kabul.”
  1. “My ass yelled at the toilet.
  1. “I took the toilet out to dinner…..my treat.”
  1. “I took a growler.”
  1. “My ass did unspeakable things to your toilet.”
  1. “I fumigated your bathroom.”
  1. “Your toilet is no longer speaking to my ass.

12. "I launched a turd torpedo and sunk your toilet."

13.  "Step right up! Step right up! Come take a ride on the Stomach Tilt-A-Whirl! Marvel at the Two-Headed Hemorrhoid! Get yer fresh hot recycled PoopCorn!"

14.  "I just mailed a turd to the sewer using Crapper's Same-Day Delivery."

15.  "I'm gonna pay a visit to the Angry Chair.(Evergreen House favorite)."

16.  "I'm gonna pay a visit to Mr. Hankey."

 17.  "Time to hit the head. (military)"

 18.  "Time to go drop off the Cosby kids at the pool."

 19.  "I've got a meeting to attend at the oval office."

20.  "Time to make a masterpiece."

21.  "I'm gonna go spend some quality time."

22.  "I'm gonna go lob one at the pipes."

23.  "I gotta make a deposit."

24.  "Sammy the Stool got the best of me today."

25.  "I just returned from hangin' bananas."

26.  "I have to drop a deuce."

27.  "I have to pinch a loaf."

28.  "I gotta go heave Havana!"

29. "I gotta take a smash!"

30.  "I played 'hide the turd in the toilet.'"

31.  "I just had an ass solo with the toilet orchestra. It brought tears to my eyes to hear such passion."

32.  "I have to unleash the party snakes."

33.  "I have to unload the toilet slinky."

34.  "I'm giving birth to a turd baby."

35.  "I'm prairie doggin' it."

36.  "I'm crowning."

37.  "I have to pop a squat."

38.  " My ass coyote was howling at the toilet moon."

39.  "I shot a 300-game at the toilet bowling alley."

40.  "I just planted some toilet corn."

41.  "I just laid some brown eggs."

42.  "I'm going to solid fart."

43.  "I'm going to 'give the brown tongue.'"

44.  "I'm gonna put the corn back on the cob."  

45.  "Mmmmmm, Sausage.  My mouth chews it up and my butt puts it back together."

46.  "It looks like the 5:15 is coming early."

47.  "This one is not a local, it's the express!"

48.  "I gotta saw one off."

49.  "Time to go drown some brown."

50.  "I have to plant some Indian corn."

51.  "This morning, my ass was like a broken soft serve machine."  

52.  "I think I just made a new Scooby Doo villain in the toilet.  Or maybe his sidekick, Crappy Doo."

53.  "I was just pitchin' shitballs to the porcelain catcher."

54.  "It looks like it's time for Ol' Faithful."

55.  "I was just haulin' a turd trailer."

56.  "I just blew an ass-gasket."

57.  "I just created fraggle rock in my toilet."

58.  "I just flew the toilet kite."

59.  "I have a rat's head peeking."

60.  "I just tattooed the toilet."

61.  "I just dropped mud."

62.  "My ass is screamin'."

63.  "I shouldn't have had the ex-lax mcmuffin." 

64.  "It looks as if the Big Mac I ate has an E-Z Pass."

65.  "It looks like the carnival is leaving town."  

66.  "I'm going to make rotten apples."

67.  "I'm going to do the Mexican toilet dance."

68.  "I just made a chocolate milkshake in the toilet."

69.  "I just dropped some rope."

70.  "I was just in the fecal position."

71.  "I just made toilet fudge."

72.  "I just entered the toilet zone."

73.  "I'm makin' logs for the anal fire."

74.  "I just laid some fly bait."

75.  "I had mexican food last night... The toilet had it this afternoon."

76.  "I made a sacrifice to the porcelain god."

77. "I ripped off some tree bark."

78.  "I have to over-deuce."  

79.  "I just sold a bratwurst at the toilet-toberfest."

80.   "I just saw my Chinese cousin Poo Ping."

81. "I just played the ass kazoo with the toilet orchestra."

82.  "I just made some Campbell's Chunky Ass with Corn Chowder."

83.  "I have to release the inmates from the anal prison."

84.  "I have to walk the green mile."

85.  "I executed another prisoner from death row."

86.  "I got some luggage in the trunk."

87.  "I dropped off some yule logs to the toilet Santa."

88.  "My dirt star just turned into a black hole."

89.  "I loaded the toilet churn with ass butter."

90.  "I have to go feed the dung beetles."

91.  "I have to sit on the mud throne."

92.  "I'ma tizzake a shizzit."

93.  "I just rolled some salami."

94.  "I just planted peanuts."

95. "I just chucked a weasel."

96.  "I just canned some corn."

97.  "I just lost a log-rolling contest."

98. "I just released the mud eels from the butt cave."

99.  "I just went to the downhill weasel races."

100. "i think my ass has a wood chipper in it."

101.  "I made a turd-o-lantern in the bathroom."

102. "I gave the toilet ass-to-mouth resuscitation.

103.  "I just had an ass-plosion."

104. "I just created some dark matter."

105. "I just bombed Porcelain Harbor."

106. "I just sunk the Bismarck."

107. "I'm fishing for brown eels."

108.  "I just 'Clubber Langed' the toilet."

109. "I gave the toilet a cavity."

110. "I put some islands in the lake."

111. "I threw some 'inner-turds' in the pool."

112. "I just got back from the 'ass capades."

113. "I went to the Commode County Fair this morning and made Brown Funnel

114. "I just closed that wing of the house."

115. "the mud otters are running"

116. "I'm taking the Browns to the Super Bowl." Good work Mags!

117. "I'm setting free the sewer snakes."

118. "I have to download a fecal file."

119. "I have to open up a .crp file."

120. "I'm dropping bullets."

121. "I just shot the John."

122. "I just finished capping the toilet."

123. "I think I crapped a corpse."

124. "I have a runner in scoring position."

125. "I'm gonna do the suicide squeeze play."

126. "I gotta release the paratroopers over the toilet bay."