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Observation 5.3 January 21, 2005 Since my more "disgusting" observations seem to be more interesting to all you "freaks," I have another quirky item to discuss with you - nose hairs. Those long, curly, almost pubic-hair-like strands seem to be growing at a phenomenal pace on me nowadays, and the pace seems to be increasing the older I get. I first noticed my nose-hairs in college, and they were kind of thin, and after I plucked them, they wouldn't return for months. However, as time marches forward, the hairs not only grow back quicker, but they are much thicker, now looking like a Sharpie marker. I usually have to "trim" these hairs every few weeks now, which is a royal pain in the rump, because nose hairs apparently are attached to the tear ducts. I'll trim them, and then the tears will start running down my eyes, making me look like a little girl who just had her taffy stolen by the playground bully. but pulling these little individual strands of afro is like pulling the string on one of those little fire-cracker bottles, but instead of making a loud banging sound, all I do is sneeze uncontrollably. Now, here comes the disgusting part. Sometimes, when I'm at work, or worse, when I'm driving, I will try to pull some hairs out with my thumb and index finger. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I pull out three or four of those "guitar strings." In fact, I'm doing this as I write this column. It is almost like a game in that you win when you pull out that long curly strand that sits just under the tip of your nose. Somebody should give out prizes for this, I'm serious. Coincidentally, that is the one that causes the most welling-up of the eyes. I like the people that don't do anything with their nose hairs - they let them grow so long that it looks like some sort of herb that you plant in your yard, or a tuft of grass in the fall - a tad on the blondish/brown with a certain dry-look to it. Some of these people incorporate the nose hairs into their mustache, so that it looks as if the hair comes straight from the top of their brain. It's just a nasty sight - probably along the lines of those Andy Rooney wannabes who decide not to trim their eyebrows because they just don't get enough emotion from using their hands in a conversation - but that is a story for a different day, as well as the hair that now grows out of my ears (funny, how this hair decided to stop growing on the top of my head, and chose new residences such as my nose, ears, and back). Would you like to see other observations? Go to here: |