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Number 2


Observation 5.3
January 21, 2005
Since my more "disgusting" observations seem to be more interesting to 
all you "freaks," I have another quirky item to discuss with you - nose 
hairs.  Those long, curly, almost pubic-hair-like strands seem to be 
growing at a phenomenal pace on me nowadays, and the pace seems to be 
increasing the older I get. I first noticed my nose-hairs in college, and 
they were kind of thin, and after I plucked them, they wouldn't return 
for months. However, as time marches forward, the hairs not only grow 
back quicker, but they are much thicker, now looking like a Sharpie 
I usually have to "trim" these hairs every few weeks now, which is a 
royal pain in the rump, because nose hairs apparently are attached to the 
tear ducts.  I'll trim them, and then the tears will start running down 
my eyes, making me look like a little girl who just had her taffy 
stolen by the playground bully.  but pulling these little individual strands 
of afro is like pulling the string on one of those little fire-cracker 
bottles, but instead of making a loud banging sound, all I do is sneeze 
Now, here comes the disgusting part. Sometimes, when I'm at work, or 
worse, when I'm driving, I will try to pull some hairs out with my thumb 
and index finger.  I feel a sense of accomplishment when I pull out 
three or four of those "guitar strings."  In fact, I'm doing this as I 
write this column.  It is almost like a game in that you win when you pull 
out that long curly strand that sits just under the tip of your nose.  
Somebody should give out prizes for this, I'm serious.  Coincidentally, 
that is the one that causes the most welling-up of the eyes.  
I like the people that don't do anything with their nose hairs - they 
let them grow so long that it looks like some sort of herb that you 
plant in your yard, or a tuft of grass in the fall - a tad on the 
blondish/brown with a certain dry-look to it.  Some of these people incorporate 
the nose hairs into their mustache, so that it looks as if the hair 
comes straight from the top of their brain. It's just a nasty sight - 
probably along the lines of those Andy Rooney wannabes who decide not to 
trim their eyebrows because they just don't get enough emotion from using 
their hands in a conversation - but that is a story for a different 
day, as well as the hair that now grows out of my ears (funny, how this 
hair decided to stop growing on the top of my head, and chose new 
residences such as my nose, ears, and back).

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