Bratwurst Raped by Rest of League in Offseason
Berlin, Ger - It felt like the end of World War 2 all over again in Berlin
as DMFL opponents plucked players from their free agent roster with
regularity during the free agent draft, held this past week.
The Brats lost some key players including Quinten Jammer, Darren Bennett,
Zeke Moreno, and Reche Caldwell. "I normally like to look at the glass
as half-full, but it is really tough to when you lose so many top quality
players," said coach Grieb. "We are certainly going to miss Quinten back
there, because he was the heart and soul of our secondary. But we did a
good job of bringing in Jammar Fletcher to start at cornerback."
"Losing Bennett was something we didn't expect," continued Grieb. "We thought
he'd end his career in Berlin, but the Mudfish made an offer that couldn't
be refused. We'll move forward in the rookie draft and address the situation,
but it can't be discounted how Bennett helped the Bratwurst the past two
"Zeke Moreno was a decent ROLB for us, and we'll miss him too, but we were
planning to address the ROLB positon in the first place," continued Grieb.
"Caldwell was a WR that wasn't getting much playing time on our team. He was
an O.K. kick returner, and he probably has some potential, but when we couldn't
move Boston, he knew he wasn't going to get playing time."
In addition to Jammar Fletcher, the Brats picked up superstar strong safety
Coy Wire from the Panzies. "We knew we had to address our secondary, after
watching the Panzies light it up against the rest of the league," said Grieb.
We are fortunate to have a player of Wire's caliber on our roster."
The Brats would like to thank the rest of the league for the anal procedure
done to them this past week with regards to the free agent raping and the
empty trade offers.