A hysterical E-mail conversation between Ray and I on July 18, 2001:

Karl :  Thank goodness that I don't hav any more 

classes to take at Great Valley, so I won't feel the pinch.

Ray: Yep, that would suck. on a side note, i shit my pants this morning.

Karl:  Was it while you were at the track? I hope it wasn't on your way to work.

Ray:  yep, at the track. I had a few beers with the umpire guys last night, my 

dad came up from the shore and had a hoagie for me, so i ate it. watched 

the end of the phils game and went to bed. get up this morning, follow the

usual routine, sit on the pot and wait for things to happen. now, i know i 

have this hoagie and beer in my system somewhere and i seem to get rid of

some of it. i clean up and head to the track. now i'm cruisin along and 

i'm gettin a little gassy, then things start rumblin and i know what's goin 

on, this has happened before. i guess all that bouncin shakes things up in 

the old bowel system, but i've been able to hold off before and finish 

runnin then go home and take care of business. not today. on my 6th lap i 

incur "a little accident." had to stop runnin, cut across the football 

field, sadle up on my bike and get home. i get up on my deck, strip, and 

things are a mess, and head to the bathroom, walkin kinda funny mind you. 

clean up, shit again, this time where i'm suppose to, clean up, and get in 

the shower. ah, finally clean. now i go back outside, get the hose out, 

and hose down my clothes. it's been quite a morning. i bet my flowers out 

back come up nice though. good thing it's raining, it'll wash away any 

debris that might have been left on the driveway.

Karl: Now THAT is a funny story. I almost crapped myself reading it.

Ray: Yeah, hilarious. and i'm wearin white compression shorts and white champion 

shorts to boot, so the brown is just seepin through there like there's no 

tomorrow. so when i'm on my bike my big ass is in the air, cuz i'm not 

sitting down in the stuff, that's just gross, and all the cars probably see 

this big brown stain. lotta fun.  

Ray:  i think i'm gonna start wearing diapers 

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